Anxiety

It is exactly a month away from my departure date to Indonesia. Lots of thoughts, feelings and emotions crowding up my mind and heart these days. In May and June, I felt like I am in a swing, where I get excited about moving at one time and feel depressed about leaving at another time. These days, those emotions change very rapidly like a roller coaster. But thanks be to God who keep me sane and grounded through the love of so many friends around me. God is so good and faithful!

One of the things that overwhelms me big time is packing. Clutter is very natural to me - to get organized for daily living is already hard for me. I actually have my peace with being an organized clutter (my stuffs can look messy, but I can always pull them out when I need it). In fact, I would always have trouble finding the stuffs I need when I tidied up my space. Needless to say more, packing up thirteen years of life into two suitcases is an extreme challenge for me. 

I've spend so many unproductive hours fretting and confused on where to start - to the point of paralysis. I came to realization that I need help - lots of it. As always, my mom comes to my rescue. 

Mom and Dad at Bryce Canyon National Park

Growing up, my dad is always the one who eager to pamper me and my siblings. He doesn't speak much, but he always know the things we enjoy most and would present it to us without being asked. He is quick to give little "pick me up"s.

My mom, however, being a stay home mom, is not so easily manipulated by our words. When we say we are tired and rather procrastinate, do things later, etc - she won't back down on that! I always recognize her love as being a tough one. 

So last night when we talked on the phone, my mom asked me what am I worrying about? Am I not secured in my decision of moving? Why can't I start packing? No words come out from me as she ask these questions. I suddenly don't remember why I am so lost in thoughts that I cannot do the things I need to do. This morning, I am reminded to "do the next thing". 

1 Peter 5:7New International Version (NIV)

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.